Saturday, November 7, 2009

Coors Light-A Redneck Love Story

Upon walking through my local redneck supermarket I was drawn to the sound of a flowing river through the Rockies.  Slowly I walked with dreams of Nascar, mullets, double wides, lifted trucks and the confederate flag.  What could this force of brewing nature be?  I took off my Stihl hat and scratched my flowing mullet topped head that would make Billy Ray ask me for an autograph.  This shining bastion of redneckdom, this "silver bullet" was able to slay any man's knowledge and love of what beer really is.  I reached out to grab this can that is the holy grail of the hillbilly nation and wrapped my Copenhagen smelling hands around it.  It burned with icy cool power of the Rockies, I pulled out my skinnin knife to help balance this beast into my Carhart pocket.

At home I took a drink, not some girly man sip but a chug that any frat boy would shy from.  The first taste that mixed in with the Redman in my mouth was a watered down cereal taste that bubbled in my mouth-virtually tasteless. The aftertaste was slightly horse pissey with a hint of dog piss at the back of the tongue, and if you don't know what those taste like-you ain't a redneck.  Some of this nectar of the Rockies spilled on my bib overalls and flannel shirt which brought a tear to my eye at such a waste.  I give this beer a 4 of 10 cuz that is as high as I can count and is the same amount of daddy's I got.  Welp talk to ya later-YYEEEHHHAAAAWWWW


  1. Wow- Not sure why he started drinking so early this morning... may be from Chloe waking up at 6am on a Saturday... *sigh* ;)

  2. Funniest post ever. Don't make fun of my Dad's drink! 'Least he got rid of that mullet like 10 years ago.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.